Ellen DeGeneres and the Pet Nazis

Ellen DeGeneres and the Pet Nazis

When did pet ownership get so complicated? When I was a kid, if you wanted a dog you went to the pet store, the pound or to the Humane Society and they pretty much set you up. No muss, no fuss. Nowadays, you have to go through a background check and an examination of your credit history to land a four-legged friend. Not to mention, sign a contract.

This is where Ellen DeGeneres got into trouble, she did not read the contract. These days you cannot drop a deuce without signing a contract. Ellen did not read that if she could not keep the dog she had to give it back to the shelter, the place where the Pet Nazis live. I think Hitler lived in a shelter, or was that a bunker? Anyway, Ellen gave the dog to her hair stylist where it lived happily ever after, well six months of happily ever, that is, until the Pet Nazis came calling. Living by the letter of the contract, the Pet Nazis tore the whimpering puppy out of the loving arms of the new home’s crying children and as the children tearfully shouted, “No Mummy! Don’t let them take our beautiful puppy!” The women glared back at them and exclaimed, “Never again shall you see this dog, NEVER!”, and with an evil cackle they whisked the dog away. Well, perhaps it didn’t happen exactly that way, at least it was never reported to have happened that way, but the result was the same, the dog who had been part of the family’s life for six months had been taken away.

Ellen pleaded to the Pet Nazis to return the dog, but they refused stating that a home with young children was an inappropriate place for a small dog.. What were they going to do with the dog, use it like a football? The shelter’s owners Marina Batkis and Vanessa Chekroun said they were not giving the dog back and that they were not going to be bullied by DeGeneres.

The Pet Nazis were inundated with threatening phone calls over their actions. One quote I loved came from the women’s attorney, “If you adopt a dog and you no longer want the dog, you can’t unilaterally decide who you want to give the dog to.” If it is your dog, then why can’t you? It seems to me that adoption constitutes ownership. I really doubt that this type of contract could hold up in court.

I wonder if the dog will wind up on eBay.